User blog comment:Emma the Fierce/Battle for Salamandastron/@comment-1388285-20090804201558

If you're a beggining writer, than that's good for a start. :)

My criticism: You could (and by that, you /should/) add more details (i.e. How is Noraina winning? How did she come to be? And, one of the most important things, how do the characters look?), plus it's "fell back," not "felled back."