User blog comment:Iridian Starblade/Legend of Marfang/@comment-76.3.188.199-20101005133105
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Awesome vocab! Your descriptions were really good.
I'm gonna get picky here for a minute. ;)
...shores, due to the bird's natural longing to see new places and visit foreign lands. Seems like you switch points of view. Might be better to switch it to "due to his natural longing"
For only having this little bit posted, it sounds really promising. Keep it up matey!