User blog comment:Laria Wavedeep/The Son Of A Warrior/@comment-67.142.161.18-20100805224047

This is really good! I was impressed that you came up with your own original song (I CANNOT write poetry/music to save my LIFE!) and very, VERY impressed that you started on a totally clean slate with a totally new cast of characters! The only negative thing I noticed was that the descriptions are a tiny bit repetitive, like in the first paragraph: The leaves rustled in the breeze. The air was filled with an uneasy feeling. The bankvole scurried along, paws padding softly on the loam as his hooded figure weaved in and out of the trees. A breeze came, making the trees look as if they were dancing You mentioned a breeze already blowing in the first sentence, then you said it came for the first time in the third. But there's really nothing wrong with that - I just tend to notice that sort of thing. Great work!