User blog comment:Shieldmaiden/Battle for Southsward/@comment-988934-20090523152031

What happened to Taggerung Quest? It's not on your "blog" (ugh I hate that word) anymore.

Good start, but your story seems to be proceeding a bit fast and some parts are erratic, the same problem in MTN-RTN. I don't want to sound conceited, but critical reviews are what helps your story. (sorry)

In chapter two, when Deyna is asking Henna if she is alright, there seems to be a part missing from when he asks the question to her staring at Tayrn. Then after Henna tells Taryn who is still alive, there seems to be another part missing as it seems that there was initially some other protest against her going before the decision.

Also, whats the "standard equipment", what are their numbers?? Too general, Shield, as I usually say, details, details, details.

In Chapter Three, how long have the Redwall Army been marching, seems to me for a few days now going south if they have met up with Russano, a timeframe please.

But I love this story as I do your other ones, this one has very funny pieces in it too, especially the dialogue between Deyna and Tayrn, that made me smile. Visser's children are also quite amusing, fighting over how many they killed.

Put me on the update list please